Surreal Estate: What Would You Pay for a Sand Castle in Sunset Beach, CA?
This Is No Ordinary Sandcastle
When you read the title of this scroll, you may have wondered, “Prithee, why would I pay anything for a sandcastle? I can simply have my serfs build one!” But this is no ordinary sandcastle.
It’s a luxury residence unlike any other, situated in one of California’s premiere beachfront living locales. It also happens to be more than a little bit strange. But then again, if you have the kind of money it takes to buy an outlandish residence such as this, perchance you can get away with being a bit eccentric. Go thither and take the tour with us, won’t you?
Built to Last
When one builds a dynasty, ensuring that the reins of power can be handed down to the next generation should be made paramount. After all, what good is vanquishing one’s foes on the field of battle if their children can someday return to destroy your ancestral home?
This castle is built to withstand just about anything, from raging storms to marauding armies. Its bones are of made of steel girders and 52 steel-cabled concrete pilings capable of supporting more than 7 million pounds. The limestone and granite exterior weighs in at a substantial but easily supported 166,000 pounds. If you have your court wizard do the math, you’ll find that the girders could easily withstand the weight of a large, angry dragon landing on the roof.
Magic Is Afoot!
Of course, a residence designed to stand the test of time should be appropriately timeless. This captivating royal home was built in the waning years of the previous millennium – an era known to scholars as the 1990s. And yet, it seems to have magically arisen from the sand just a moment ago, a beguiling magic trick designed to lure mortals near the ocean, where mermaids can bewitch them.
There is certainly magic afoot here – our sorcerers have inspected the castle and found three kitchens with mysterious cooking boxes that make a heat hotter than fire on a moment’s notice. They’ve also divined pleasant warmth emanating from the granite floors, not to mention a turret containing a magical teleportation box capable of spiriting the occupant from one level of the castle to the next.
Further, they found a strange, hieroglyphic-bearing wand that has the power to light fireplaces, illuminate rooms, control interior temperature, and set unseen spirits a-shrieking if intruders make their way into the castle.
Very mysterious stuff indeed, but none of it seems to be the work of mermaids or sirens.
Plenty of Room for the Royal Court
What better way to forge an alliance or strengthen an existing one than to invite persons of influence to spend part of the summer at the edge of the world?
This castle has more than enough room to house visiting dignitaries. All told, there’s more than 9,400 square feet of indoor living space, including six bedrooms, each more luxurious than the last. There are also 10 full privies – you wouldn’t want your distinguished guests waiting in line to relieve themselves after a long, cross-country coach ride.
Oh, and there’s a private servant’s quarters. That way, the staff can gallivant in their coarse way without disturbing your peace – better for you, and better for the servants.
A royal residence should be more than a home – it should be a work of art, and this castle does not disappoint. Craftsmen from across the realm were brought in to create a manse both comfortable and stately.
Feast your eyes on that copper-coated entry gate and that hand-carved teak front door. Take a moment to appreciate the three-story spiral staircase of granite and pickled white oak, lit from above by a circular skylight.
Spend an evening relaxing in the outdoor hot tub – a seemingly mystical contrivance that draws its heat from unknown sources and makes the troubles of ruling seem a world away. You can see the edge of the earth. There, there be sea serpents, but here, there be nothing but luxury.
It’s Time to Raid the Royal Treasury
If there were ever a fitting reason to raid one’s treasury, this seaside castle on 16815 S. Pacific Coast is it. The locals seem to only deal in a form of paper currency called “dollars.” Trading your gold and jewels for pieces of paper might not sit well with you, but if that’s what it takes to purchase this castle, well, why not?