Amira Maruf and Rasheed Power knew they wanted to get married and buy a home — they just weren’t so sure about the wedding part.
Rather than save $50,000 to spend on a large fairy tale wedding, the two 30-year-olds opted for a private, 12-person elopement, using the funds instead as a down payment on a four-bedroom, new construction home outside Dallas.
“Would we rather have something for a lifetime or a party for one day for other people? The writing was on the wall. Nothing else really made sense for us,” Maruf said in an interview with Homes.com.
The couple, both working in the tech industry, moved into their new home in August, following their intimate wedding in May.
Maruf and Power are one couple choosing closing costs over wedding bells, a shifting mindset among many millennial and Gen Z buyers at a time when the median price of a single-family home grew in September to $385,000, according to Homes.com data.
A survey published last week from national homebuilder PulteGroup suggests 81% of individuals between the ages of 25 and 44 would prioritize buying a home over having a dream wedding.
Nearly half agreed that they would scale back their nuptials to make homeownership a reality, while 63% would choose a smaller, less expensive venue to defer money to a down payment. It’s not a new concept: In 2021, Netflix aired “Marriage or Mortgage,” a reality show following engaged couples deciding between spending the price of a down payment on a mortgage or a wedding bash.
When Maruf posted a video on TikTok inside her and Power’s empty and newly purchased home with the text, “POV: You bought a home instead of having a wedding,” most, if not all, of the 200 comments were praising the couple for their “smart” decision.
Maruf doesn’t know of many other young people doing the same yet; rather, she’s attended weddings that cost upward of $100,000, while she and Power are the first couple in their friend group to purchase a home.
Agent Alexandra Quate with Fathom Realty in North Carolina has worked with buyers who strategically budget to manage both: A couple that closed on their first home this month and plan to wed in April. Another client of Quate's chose a bigger home over a big wedding — and ended up marrying in their new backyard.
In the case of Maruf and Power, the decision to choose a mortgage over marriage was rooted in their desire to make an investment, while preferring a more private and intimate celebration of their new chapter together.
Changing lifestyles, rising costs
First-time homebuyers and newlyweds have felt the impacts of shifting cultural priorities and economic pressure from housing affordability over the past few decades.
Both the median age of first-time buyers and married couples have inched up as Americans wait longer to buy and wed compared to each generation before. Federal data from 2024 found 48% of 30-year-olds have married and 33% own a home, double-digit decreases compared to 40 years ago.
“I think part of it is lifestyle. I think a lot of younger people like to have the flexibility to move around from city to city,” said Marco Fregenal, CEO of Fathom Realty. “I think COVID changed the world in that a lot of companies said you can live anywhere. … A lot of younger people would rather have more flexibility.”
The costs for a home and a wedding are fairly comparable.
National Association of Realtors data found that a first-time buyer pays 9% for a down payment, making $34,650 the median out-of-pocket spend on a first home if using the median sale price of $385,000, while the average price of a wedding is $36,000, according to online wedding planning site Zola.
However, if a buyer has $30,000 and is debating whether to use it for a mortgage or a wedding, certified financial planner Kevin Estes of Scaled Finance advises that it might cost more than buyers realize.
"There are other expenses: pre-paid insurance, closing costs, appraisal fees, title documentation fees, and other fees associated with the home," Estes told Homes.com. "And then it needs to be livable. You need to buy furniture, [and] might need to do quick remodels before you move in."
Estes believes that to make the mortgage investment and upfront costs worthwhile, buyers should use their home as a primary residence for seven years. If planning to move before that, homebuying might not be the best decision, he said.
Adding to the considerations, Estes advises that 1% of the home's value annually will be spent on general maintenance or emergencies, such as a new roof, and buyers should consider that.
Can buyers have both?
Texas agent Jennifer Carey with Open House Austin, a brokerage specializing in first-time homebuyers, hasn’t seen a surge in couples making a decision for one life milestone over another. Rather, she says, buyers can have both.
Carey believes some advice passed down makes many young couples uncertain about what they can afford, specifically, that 20% of a home's purchase price is needed for a down payment.
“Four hundred and fifty thousand is the average price range in Austin. If you’re telling someone who’s 23 years old, they have to have $90,000 in the bank, plus closing costs, plus moving expenses, that’s not the reality for 99% of people,” Carey told Homes.com.
She encourages buyers to work with their agent, like Open House does, on “creative financing.”
“We have connections with local lenders that offer a lot of zero down or location-based homes where they’re not bringing a lot of cash to the table,” she said.
A loan backed by the Federal Housing Administration requires a down payment of 3.5%, while many lenders writing conventional loans offer 3% down. Veterans and residents of rural areas are also eligible for zero-percent-down federal loans.
Ultimately, the "correct" decision is subjective and personal to the couple, agents said.
For new homeowners Maruf and Powers, the decision came from serious conversations and followed a year of saving.
"There are avenues and ways you can make this a reality. I know a lot of my generation say, 'I will never be able to buy a house,' but it definitely is a possibility if you plan for it," said Maruf. "And for us, it was not doing the wedding."