How to find a roommate when renting

Key takeaways

• Finding someone who is financially reliable and compatible with your lifestyle is the foundation of a successful roommate arrangement.
• Vetting — including honest conversations about habits, expectations, money and values — helps identify red flags before signing a lease.
• Clear agreements, open communication and a written roommate contract reduce conflict and set expectations for shared responsibilities and financial obligations.

Having a roommate is an effective way to save on rent and other living expenses.

From college to postgrad and beyond, finding the right roommate can be tricky. Not all friends make good roommates, and it’s important that you live with someone who aligns with your lifestyle.

When looking for a roommate, you’re first looking for someone who can financially contribute and cohabitate with you. That might be all you want out of a roommate. However, for some people, it’s important to be friends with a roommate. In that case, you might be more selective when finding someone who is compatible.

Depending on where you are, there are a few methods for finding a roommate.

“Finding the right roommate typically involves using both vetted online platforms and your own personal network,” said Jamie E. Wright, litigator and founder of the Wright Law Firm based in Los Angeles, California. “Professional organizations, alumni associations and coworking spaces will likely generate better qualified leads than anonymous postings."

Start with your personal network and ask around if anyone knows someone who needs a roommate where you are living. If that doesn’t produce any candidates, turn to social media. In many cities and towns, there is a Facebook group dedicated to people looking for roommates or renting out rooms in current leases. There are also other websites that are roommate‑matching portals.

Do some research on where you want to rent and know what neighborhoods you want to live in. This can help you narrow your search for a roommate who also wants to live in that area.

Gather a few photos and fun facts about yourself to post or share with potential roommates. This will help break the ice and build trust. Sometimes having a face to a name or sharing a hobby can help bridge the gap with a stranger.

As you message people, be sure to check out their profiles to make sure they are who they say. Look at how old their account is and how many followers and posts they have. Even someone who doesn't use social media should have some posts or pictures of themselves. You can also Google them and look for additional information online.

You should talk to any potential roommates on the phone or FaceTime. If possible, meet them in person in a public place. Be sure to tell someone you are meeting them to be safe.

While your roommate could become your friend, at the end of the day you have a roommate to help pay for rent and living expenses. You need to find someone who you can trust to uphold their end of the lease.

“Your conversations with your roommates should be practical and focused on how you plan to share living space,” Wright said.

After some small talk, be sure to ask this list of questions to make sure you are both on the same page. These questions may seem forward, but it’s important to get honest answers before signing a lease.

• Income stability: How much are you making? Is it consistent? Can you provide a credit score report?
• Rent payment habits: Will you make timely payments?
• Shared expenses: Who pays for groceries? Utilities?
• Cleaning expectations: How often do you expect to vacuum?
• Guest policies: Can you have overnight guests? For how long?
• Conflict resolution: How will we resolve disagreements that may arise?
• Renting history: Have you rented with a roommate before? If so, how was your experience?
• Background check: Can you provide a character reference? Have you been arrested or charged with anything, and if so what?

While it’s hard to tell when you first meet a person, keep an eye out for potential signs that a potential roommate is not reliable.

“Some red flags include vague information regarding employment, unwillingness to discuss finances and unwillingness to put any agreement in writing,” Wright said.

Talking about money is considered impolite in day‑to‑day conversations, but it’s extremely important to have an open conversation about money with a roommate.

It’s smart to discuss your core values, such as religion, to ensure each person respects the other’s beliefs. Even if you’re not looking to be friends with your roommate, aligning on lifestyle expectations can include some social elements. For example, if one person likes to stay up late, that could disturb the other, so it’s important to ask about habits and routines.

Red flags are often in the eye of the beholder, so think about what is important to you and set those standards with potential roommates.

Whether it’s your best friend or someone you met online, having a roommate who is not compatible with your lifestyle can become a problem. Communication is key when roommate issues arise. You can’t expect someone to change their behavior if you don’t tell them the problem. They cannot read your mind.

Having expectations set before the lease is signed can help mitigate conflicts over cleaning, but people are not perfect. It'ss important to be firm on the agreement but also have some grace for missed dishes in the sink.

“Conflicts will almost always arise from money and expectations,” Wright said. “Issues related to late rent payments, unfair distribution of rent and varying levels of cleanliness create friction among roommates. The biggest mistake that people make when selecting a roommate is selecting a roommate based on personality and not on their ability to pay their portion of the rent.”

The best way to prevent these issues is to have an agreement in place with clear rules and boundaries.

While the landlord will have a lease that you and your roommate will sign, you can take your agreement a step further and draft a roommate agreement.

“Your lease defines your relationship with your landlord. Your roommate agreement defines your relationship with your roommate,” Wright said.

Once you have agreed to live together, you should put what you agreed to in writing.

“It’s extremely important to have a roommate agreement,” Wright said. “This will help you establish boundaries and determine how you will share responsibilities. Your roommate agreement should clearly state rent splits, utility costs, security deposits, household chores, guest restrictions and what will happen if a roommate decides to move out early.”

This agreement should help prevent conflicts, but what is most important is that both parties are on the lease. If one person is not on the lease, then they could leave without paying what they agreed to.

“When all roommates are listed on the lease, they generally hold joint and several liability. This means if one roommate doesn’t pay rent, each of the remaining roommates could be held accountable for the entire amount owed,” Wright said.

If you end up the only one on a lease, then solutions are limited if your roommate backs out.

“You will either have to replace the roommate with permission from your landlord, you will have to look into subleasing the apartment or you will have to document the roommate’s unpaid obligations and possibly seek reimbursement for any outstanding amounts,” Wright said. “Disputes over the return of security deposits are very common unless you address them upfront.”

Write up an agreement with your lease details and cost and sign it to make the agreement official.