Real estate love letters: Do they actually work?

Key takeaways

• No current industry data quantifies whether so-called "love letters" improve a buyer's chances of acceptance. 
• No federal or state law currently bans the use of these real estate notes.
• The National Association of Realtors advises agents not to deliver prospective buyers' letters and recommends that listing agents document the objective reason for accepting an offer.

A real estate "love letter" is a personal note some buyers attach to their purchase offer, addressed directly to the seller.

The goal is to create an emotional connection that makes one bid stand out from the rest, especially when making an offer on a home in a competitive market with multiple bids. The practice is common, but it divides real estate professionals: Some agents see value in it, while others warn that it raises fair housing concerns that outweigh any potential benefit. This article covers how these letters work, what the risks are and what alternatives exist.

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A real estate love letter is a personal letter from a buyer to a seller, typically included with a purchase offer. Unlike the formal offer itself, which focuses on price, financing, contingencies and closing dates, the letter is informal and subjective. Its purpose is to persuade the seller on personal grounds rather than financial terms alone.

Buyers write these letters to stand out among competing bids by appealing to the seller's emotions and sentimental attachment to the home. A buyer might compliment a specific feature of the property, such as a backyard garden, a reading nook by the window or the natural light in the kitchen. The idea is that a seller who cares about those same details may feel more comfortable passing the home to someone who appreciates them.

The term "love letter" is informal. Some agents now prefer "cover letter" to distance the practice from its emotional connotations, though the content and purpose remain the same regardless of the label.

Buyer love letters have existed for decades. However, their use tends to surge during tight housing markets. When inventory is low and multiple offers are common, buyers look for any way to differentiate themselves. The practice gained particular traction in highly competitive areas starting around 2020, as pandemic-driven market conditions amplified bidding wars and made personalization a more prominent tactic. Since then, agents have continued to disagree about whether these letters help or harm buyers.

Possibly, but there is no reliable evidence showing that buyer letters materially improve acceptance rates compared with stronger financial terms.

No current industry data quantifies how much a personal letter improves a buyer's odds of getting an offer accepted. The evidence for and against love letters remains anecdotal.

What the data does show is that financial strength drives offer acceptance in competitive markets. According to National Association of Realtors' July 2025 Realtors Confidence Index, homes received an average of 2.1 offers, 31% of buyers paid all cash, 23% waived the inspection contingency and 22% waived the appraisal contingency. The trade group's 2025 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers found that all-cash purchases reached an all-time high of 26% over the past year, while first-time buyers fell to a record low of 21%. In that environment, price, financing and contingency terms carry more weight with sellers than a personal appeal.

Agents who have seen letters succeed say the benefit is usually emotional, not financial. Ernie Chamberlain, an agent with George: A Real Estate Group, which is affiliated with the Hometown Realty brokerage in Richmond, Virginia, recalled a client who sent two photos of their dog to a seller. One photo was an "informal" picture of the dog, while the other was digitally altered to show the canine wearing a suit.

"It was the cutest photo. They ended up getting the house," Chamberlain said, but "ultimately the best price and the best terms are what's going to win."

In plenty of cases, sellers are not going to act on an emotional appeal. Lauren O'Brien, who lists homes for Leading Edge Real Estate in Reading, Massachusetts, recalled a client whose son was a police officer. The buyer knew the family and sent a letter emphasizing that he was a police officer, too. But he was offering $5,000 less for the house than a competitor, and the seller decided money was the key.

Some buyers, knowing there will be multiple offers on the home, will send their bid and a letter as soon as possible. If the seller receives the letter on a Friday and hasn't planned to review offers until Sunday, the letter could help move that buyer's offer to the front of the line, Chamberlain said. But it could land with a whimper if the seller reads the letter and then decides to wait and consider the other offers anyway, he said.

The main risk is that a letter may reveal protected personal information that a seller is legally prohibited from considering when choosing an offer.

The federal Fair Housing Act became law in 1968. It makes it illegal for home sellers and real estate agents to discriminate against buyers based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability or familial status. Many states and localities have built on that foundation, making it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity, sexual orientation, age and source of income. A letter that includes family photos, references a church or mentions children can give a seller information that could influence their decision, even unconsciously.

Alexia Smokler, the National Association of Realtors' director of fair housing policy and programs, described a classic example: a buyer writing about celebrating Christmas around the fireplace. It sounds harmless, but it reveals religion and familial status.

"Human beings tend to prefer and like people who are similar to them," Smokler said. "If the buyer is just like you and writes a letter, and you base your choice on that instead of the merits of the offer, you may have a problem."

In 2021, the Oregon Legislature banned buyer love letters, arguing that they could encourage sellers to select offers based on a buyer's race, religion, family status or other protected characteristics. It was the first and only such prohibition enacted in the United States. In March 2022, a federal judge blocked the law's enforcement, ruling that it likely violated the First Amendment, and a May 2022 consent decree permanently prevented Oregon from enforcing the statute. The court acknowledged concerns that buyer letters could contribute to housing discrimination but found that the law also restricted a substantial amount of lawful speech, including innocuous information such as a buyer's appreciation for a home's architecture or neighborhood. The judge suggested that existing fair housing laws could address discrimination without broadly restricting communication between buyers and sellers.

Despite the theoretical risk, Smokler said she is not aware of any federal cases or complaints based on a love letter. Shaun Pappas, a real estate attorney and partner at Starr Associates LLP in New York City, said, "We have no legal concerns about this practice." That context matters for buyers weighing the decision, but the absence of lawsuits does not mean the risk of bias influencing a seller's choice is zero.

Jamie Ferguson, an agent with Coldwell Banker Howard Perry and Walston Real Estate in Raleigh, North Carolina, said she tells her clients about the risks if they bring up writing a letter.

"I always say, there is a huge downfall for you if the letter doesn't help you," Ferguson said. "It could actually eliminate you, based on someone's bias, and we never know who's reading it."

Gabe Walsh, legal counsel for the Saint Paul Area Association of Realtors, raised a related concern. Even when a letter does not result in a legal complaint, the losing buyer may still question the outcome. Walsh said, "a buyer might become upset or question why someone else got a house for less money after writing a letter."

Ferguson's warning highlighted a key risk: The letter does not just fail to help in a worst-case scenario. It can actively work against you if the seller, consciously or not, reacts negatively to something personal you have shared. And if a losing buyer believes the letter influenced the outcome, it may raise questions even when bias played no role.

If you decide to write a letter, focus on the property itself and keep personal details to a minimum. Avoid anything that could reveal a protected characteristic.

• Specific compliments about the home's features, such as the garden, the natural light in the kitchen or the layout of a particular room 
• Your plans for maintaining or preserving something the seller clearly invested in, like a landscaped yard or a renovated space 
• A brief note about your financial readiness, such as your preapproval status, without disclosing sensitive personal information 
• Some agents suggest other ways to make buyers stand out, such as sharing their credit score with the prequalification letter or offering a nonrefundable deposit 

• Family photos, selfies or videos of any kind 
• References to religion, race, ethnicity, marital status or children 
• Details about disabilities or medical conditions 
• Mentions of national origin, ancestry or immigration status 

Chamberlain said he doesn't encourage buyers to send letters, but he doesn't discourage it, either. But he cautions them "not to put in personal photos or anything along those lines," he said. If he's representing a seller, he said he urges them not to read buyers' letters until they have decided whose offer to accept.

The National Association of Realtors advises agents to educate buyer clients about fair housing law and not to deliver love letters on their behalf. If your agent declines to pass along a letter, that is a standard industry practice, not a personal judgment about your offer. First-time homebuyers may find this guidance especially useful when deciding whether to include a letter with their first offer.

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Buyers who want to strengthen their offer without introducing fair housing risk can focus on financial and contractual terms that appeal to sellers on the merits.

• Increase your earnest money deposit. Moving from 1% to 3% earnest money signals you will close, and the full amount is applied toward your down payment at closing. 
• Offer a flexible closing timeline or rent-back arrangement (an agreement that lets the seller stay in the home for a set period after closing). On a listing with three similar-price offers, a buyer who pairs a shorter close with a rent-back option may appeal more to a seller than a slightly higher bid with standard contingencies. 
• Add an escalation clause with a defined cap. An escalation clause is a provision in your offer that automatically raises your bid above competing offers, up to a maximum you set in advance. Set your ceiling at the maximum you would pay without regret. 

Other ways to stand out include getting fully underwritten pre-approval (a lender review that verifies your income, assets and credit before you make an offer, which carries more weight than a standard prequalification letter) and offering a shorter inspection window of five to seven days rather than waiving inspections entirely.Each of these strategies strengthens your offer through financial and contractual terms rather than personal appeal.

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This updated article was originally reported by David Holtzman.